Its my Party... ::tear::

Sunday, July 31, 2005

:::...Thinkin of...:::

It's nearly 3 in the morning but i'm still in front of the comp..well,actually i slept early w/o even a msg sent to Wan.I woke up & the first thin' i remember was Wan.Haiz..been thinkin' a lot about him..I dunno why..But he has not been msgin me for 2 days..How's dat feel? Ressstless!!So then again, i msg him at 2.30am..for God knows reason why..I dun care whether if he's sleepin or on his way back home from his show..just wanted to let him know dat i am thinkin abt him..I'm trying not to break down at least on the outside cos i feel dat 20% of my heart had been shattered inside.
I went out with my mom(surprisingly) to Tekka cos she wanted to get her thing..but eventually I shopped for my clothes..haha..it's kindda funny cos the last time i went there was pri scool days..and i didn't even stepped into the market before..So it was my first time goin there..Weird..to be a Singaporean and not goin to such kind of places..And it's been quite some time since i last ate a tasty Thosai Masala..We take-away the food..Luckily,the food was tasty and fulfilling or else..it would be a waste of time carrying it home..
I really hope he would msg me later this morning..Even he had been busy,can't he spare of his time even for a minute to msg me?I know very well,things are no more the same between us now..Even if u tell me u still love me but i know..I can feel it.I really feel like crying now.Is it really to0 late for me to try again?I know i have been crying a lot and like u said,crying won't solve the prob.It's true but what else can i do?I break down so0o easily and no matter how much i've tried to solve the prob..The prob will still be there.I'm really hoping we could be back like we used to..I've tried to put my past away..far away from me..Why can't you do the same too?It's like there is a 20% of empty space inside me waiting to be filled with love and care again.
I know it' pointless for me to write down those stuff cos you have hardly any access to the net.But if one day you were to read my blog,hope dat at least u will know how i felt at this very moment.

Posted@|02:53|

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Saturday, July 30, 2005

:::...Kiss From A Rose...:::

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea
You, became the light on the dark side of me
Love remains, a drug that's the high and not the pill
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?

1-Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey

2-There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
Baby, To me, you're like a growing
Addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?

But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?
(rpt 1)

I've been kissed by a rose on the grey
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey
And if I should fall, will it all go away?
(rpt 2, 1)

Yes, I compare you a kiss from a rose...

~ Seal ~

Posted@|18:49|

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Friday, July 29, 2005

:::...s0methin' to ponder abt...:::

I dunn0 how t0 describe how i'm feeling now..Kept thinkin ab0ut the lil' chat i had with ayul yest. Why is it still s0 hard to erase those mem0ries from the mind?Why do y0u still have to hold on s0methin' dat you kn0w it won't return t0 you?It's been 5 years...w0ah..don't you think you have been living in a world of illusi0n? I'm not reprimandin you..I'm completely understand what you're goin' thru..I've been there and d0ne that to0.But seriously.. I was a bit flabbergasted..i really thought this issue had been 0ver but it just won't g0 away.. It's s0ooo weird when we think back on th0se times.. Just wanna let y0u knoe..Have faith in y0urself k.. If y0u treasure whatever you have n0w, let g0 of the past. I'm here ok..my dear friend..

~ It's pointless t0 miss f0r someone who dun misses you at all ~

Posted@|18:31|

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Thursday, July 28, 2005

::::::

I'm so enj0yin my Famous Amos ch0colate chip co0kies which i b0ught after school n0w. Hehehe..Feeling so lethargic and sleepy.. Can never get enuff rest.. And my arm is still aching due t0 badminton last m0nday. I really wish I have some0ne to massage me.. Blueekh!
Haiz.. I have like s0 many things dat i wanna buy.. Urrggh.. where will i get $$$?
And yeah.. syg was VERY delighted and estatic dat he didn't have to take prac 6 m0re than once. I'm happy f0r him.. Hope he will get his license s0on then.. Missing him.. *Hugs* Maybe next time la eh syg.. y0u will get thru my bl0g..
Sometimes i wonder.. why s0me people are b0rn so0 perfectly. They are rich, have lotsa m0ney, beautiful features and dun have t0 worry abt anything.. Haiz.. While s0me people are struggling very hard t0 even earn a nickel 0r have the least average figure to be at least happy..
~ I'm just a simple girl th0ugh i have BIG dreams/wishes. But i'm grateful f0r whatever i have n0w.~

Posted@|17:01|

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

:::...what d0es my birthdate means...:::

Your Birthdate: August 20

Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading.
The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make friends easily and quickly.
Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group.

You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection.
You are very prone to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil.
It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in.
When things are going well, you can go just as far the other way and become extremely affectionate.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Posted@|11:05|

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Saturday, July 23, 2005

:::...baby Hakeem...:::

Chakk!Who's dat baby sooo tembam?Haha..Baby Hakeem..s0 excited to see him when i g0t home fr0m school. Really missh him lots...
Stayed back after class for Interact Club. We had to g0 down to Lion's Befrienders Centre at Marsiling before proceedin to Woodlands to distribute flyers d0or-to-do0r. Very tiring..we were pespiring but it was all f0r go0d cause.I really h0pe the residents will n0t throw away the flyers..

Posted@|11:41|

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

:::...13th m0nths...:::

An0ther one month g0ne..and yeah syg, i h0pe it w0n't only be 13 mths but 13 yrs too. It's been 2 wks since i last met Wan.. missh him l0ts but he has been bz with his werk and his jammin band. Keep practisin wif ur drums.. I kn0w u can do it..haha..crap!
Thought 0f goin out today but still have t0 do research on my last debate.. Sad t0 hear from my mom dat my baby boy juni0r.. those who dunno who i'm referrin to..is Hakeem..my nephew is d0wn with fever. Missh him t0o.

Posted@|20:03|

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Saturday, July 16, 2005

:::...h0ld me n0w...:::

I have a picture,

pinned to my wall.

An image of you and of me and we're laughing we're love at it all.

But look at our life now, we're tattered and torn.

We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn

Chorus:

Ohh, Hold me now,

whoa warm my heart

stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)

You say I'm a dreamer,

we're two of a kind

Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find

So perhaps I should leave here,Yeah yeah go far away

But you know that theres no where that I'd rather be than with you here today

You ask if I love you, well what can I say?

You know that I do and that this is just one of those games that we play

So I'll sing you a new song,

Please don't cry anymore

I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm

askin you for

- Wayne Wonder -

Posted@|19:32|

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Friday, July 15, 2005

:::...w0nderin...:::

Is he angry wif me? But i was really tired and sleepy dat I had to get to s0me sleep this aftern0on. It's n0t dat i can't be b0thered to msg u further. Been having headaches again and alm0st fall sick. I woke up and msg him twice and still n0 replys. I'm feelin so guilty n0w..Shd I call him? I'm hesitatin c0s i'm scared What If he's really sleepin..I dun wanna disturb him. Kecian my syg..didn't get proper sleep for the last 2 days. Arrgh..trying to control myself n0t to cry.. em0 me..

Posted@|23:23|

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Thursday, July 14, 2005

::::::

I should have uploaded these photos earlier but due to some difficulties, i couldn't. It was during Father's Day and we went to Hjh Maimunah's Restaurant at Geylang to eat!

Posted@|19:49|

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:::...what's happening...:::

Everythin's changing and I felt s0 weird and disc0urage 0f what is happenin t0 me dearest class. 0nce stepped int0 class, suddenly Ms Tay was really mad. She was voicing out her deepest anger t0 the class. Every0ne was s0lemn. N0body wanted t0 tell her t0 shut up c0s 0f the respect given. But i guess we kn0w why she had to be sarcastic.
At the end 0f Office Admin class, Ms N0raini asked the class abt the sensitive issue which happened. Everyone's changing..even Red thinks i've changed fr0m quiet girl t0 a crazy yet sensitive girl. Hehe..is dat a g00d thin 0r a bad thin? n0body wanted to say things dat have been buggin' in their mind. Perhaps, it's better t0 just keep silence. Well, she meant well. She wants ISP to be like wat we used t0 be.
After lunch, had Event Management. I was lying d0wn 0n the desk and pretended t0 listen t0 the lecture. Things blew up. I was already sad..and became em0 again. Dunn0 why but i cried instantly when the incident happened. W0ah..what's happenin' sia?
I guess..things will never be the same again.
I'm s0rry huda..It's true dat I was a bit touchy yest c0s it was in a spur 0f m0ment. I lurrve ya t00..We're still friends aight..Learn t0 chill a bit s0metimes..I kn0w ur stress 0f many things.. Debates..Taking care 0f the class..Ur hunny..And..ur n0t b0thering me ok with ur pr0bs and expecially ur craps...haha..

Posted@|09:04|

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Sunday, July 10, 2005

:::...just updatin...:::

Last fri, i stayed back f0r Interat Club's training until 5pm. There were 0nly 4 seni0rs attended under Li0n's Befrienders pr0ject. I've never been in a sessi0n dat is s0 quiet.. Felt a bit unc0mf0rtable of the s0lemness.. But there were 0ne or tw0 laughs cracked. Quite inf0rmative i can say.. Ms Siti fr0m the center came d0wn t0 train us and i guess it was n0t her day.. 0h yeah, was quite surprised to see 8 girls fr0m ISA j0ined the club. I felt strange cos 0nly Gracia wh0m i talked t0. Went h0me al0ne as Gracia was still in the ladies.
Yest, stayed at h0me and didn't do much. Watched tv and stuffs. Yeah..was feelin b0red. Wan called me up cos he was b0red t00. He was just playin s0ngs at Sent0sa and dunn0 what else t0 do. Crappped 0ver the ph0ne.. G0t n0thin t0 do. Didn't msg him bef0re i slept c0s i was really sleepy. Turned 0ff the telly and bum!
T0day, the first thin after i w0ke up, i msg Wan. Cleaned a bit of my r00m and h0use. Th0ught 0f l0ggin int0 net, but changed my mind. Lied d0wn 0n the s0fa, turned 0n the DVD player. Watched Biker Boyz which I b0rr0wed fr0m Wan last Thurs. Fuyooo..the bikes are sooo nice t0 0ggle at. I sh0uld have watched T0rque 0r Fast and Furi0us last time..
Lastly, i miss Hakeem(si tembam tu!) s000 much. 0ver a week already i didn't see him. My m0m can't take care 0f him al0ne as the rest 0f us are either sch00lin 0r werkin. =(

Posted@|13:01|

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

:::...s0rry...:::

I have n0 idea why i'm s0 easily suffer fr0m em0ti0nal breakd0wns. Even a slightest sh0ut c0mes fr0m him can makes me cry. Perhaps, i'm t00 0blivi0us abt dis life. I d0 and say things which i dun mean m0st 0f d times.. ending up hurtin d 0ther party and myself t00. Each time I ap0l0gise, it seems as if s0rry has l0st it's significant value. But in actual fact, i meant every word i said.
I have always tried t0 tell ppl t0 be str0ng but am I d0in d same thin'? They say dat we sh0uldn't give in all d time.. we stand up f0r 0ur rights but will it help to save critical situati0ns? The reas0n I have learnt t0 be giving is 'cos i dun want t0 fall 0ut much further. Maybe it's true when he said dat 's0rry' can save any situati0ns much faster.
0r it is 'c0s 0f the sense 0f eg0 in ppl's mind, dat they usually think they're never in wr0ng? Like Elt0n J0hn's s0ng, 'S0rry seems t0 be the Hardest W0rd'. Well, saying s0rry d0es n0t make y0u smaller but it sh0ws dat y0u have a big heart.
0n the 0ther hand, certain ppl are m0st readily t0 say s0rry even if n0b0dy blames them. H0w th0ughtful.. but have they th0ught dat it will l0se it's meaning s0me day? It's like a habit t0 them. H0wever, it all c0mes back fr0m where i started. Perhaps they mean it.
Right n0w, i'm trying t0 be 0ptimistic 'c0s i used t0 be s0 pessimistic till the p0int which it affected my life greatly. I have learnt t0 be patient a l0t n0w 'c0s h0ping t0 make things rite again. Thinkin' again, i still have a l0ng way t0 g0. Few days back, I felt s0 numb and c0nfused till didn't feel like g0in' h0me. I still can't handle em0ti0ns pr0bs dat well yet. I guess.

Posted@|23:23|

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:::Death:::

Blackness covers all I see

and all I touch.

No feeling of pain

just sorrow.

My hand loses grip of the sword I held.

And I turn to become a shadow.

" Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. "

- Leo Buscaglia

Posted@|22:48|

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Wednesday, July 06, 2005

:::Where Does My Beauty Lies? I Do?:::

Plain Sight

B:

Your Beauty lies in Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl next door. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actually very beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more that lets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may come and go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simple things and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things mostconsider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendlyand probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-rounded individual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug it off because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some Things That Represent You:

Element:Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile

Gemstone:Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Planet: Jupiter Hair
Color: Light Brown Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted@|18:24|

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:::What kind of girl am I? True?:::

innocent

You're the innocent girl next door. You are
friendly, cheerful, kind, and happy. You like
to spread your happiness around making people
feel warm and joyous. To do this you like to
bake cookie and muffins while giving kind
compliments. Plus you actually give apples to
your teachers. You're pure and innocent and
most likely haven't broken many rules. Everyone
loves you. How can they not?

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted@|18:07|

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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

:::Dear Wan...:::

You came into my life

Unannounced

Uninvited

But not unwanted

You came at a time that I needed

A tender smile

A gentle touch

Another's company

You came with understanding

For you asked no questions

With loving care

You healed my wounds

And nursed me to health again

Then you watched over me

Till I regained my courage

To face the World again

And in your wisdowm you realised

My need to be free

So you tied no bonds

Now each night

Wherever I am

I think of you

And in my Heart I repeat

'Thank You'

Posted@|20:03|

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Sunday, July 03, 2005

:::What Sesame Street Character Are You?:::

Tee hee! Stop being so ticklish. You damn pervert! Tee hee!

Tee hee! Stop being so ticklish. You damn pervert!
Tee hee!

WhAt SeSaMe StReEt ChArAcTeR aRe YoU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted@|00:10|

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Saturday, July 02, 2005

:::How Could This Happen To Me:::

I open my eyes
I try to see but
I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
~ Simple Plan~

I tried to put this song as a background music but always ended up having probs opening the page.. Shuts!! Oh nvm.. prolly just read the lyrics.. or find the song to hear it.. It's meaningful..

Posted@|11:55|

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Friday, July 01, 2005

:::Coming Soon:::

I'm looking forward to watching these 2 movies...Can't wait!

* Charlie And The Chocolate Factory *

Just lorveee Johnny Depp and the story. I think this is the best Literature book after Matilda. Agree?

* The Longest Yard *

Actually it's bcoz Nelly is in there..Haha..That's y i'm planning to watch this. Sorry syg.. I know how much u dislike him. Please bear with me just this time...

Posted@|19:00|

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The Chick

Nurul'Ain Bte Md Eizak
20 August 1986
Sengkang
Attached
Bishan ITE Graduate
Republic Polytechnic
Integrated Events Mgmt

Punk Me Out

My Bitches

ayuL naddY ayIz Liana faIza saSa michY I saHida qie I Little Miss michY II sHashie fiZzy qie II nuruL vaL meLyana derLine faEza jaSlin zIe aIm w14p zaki

The Past

|08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004|05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005|06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005|07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005|08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005|09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005|10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005|11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005|12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006|01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006|02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006|03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006|04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006|05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006|06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006|07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006|08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006|09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006|10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006|11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006|12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007|01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007|02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007|03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007|04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007|05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007|10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007

Credits

Pictures from: photobucket